Our neighbourhood writer's block

Monday, July 24, 2006

[Poetry] To Mom

The curtains fall for one last time
before anew begins the year
the Ledger's closed, the wishlist made
and the world brews hope in deep slumber

A lone lamp glows in the kitchen shelf
and lives again in her drop of sweat
And as she fills another pickle jar
stains the earth and kisses death

And in the night's stillness we lay to rest
a entire year of memories
The arguments, the unknown fear
the spoken word and a lone tear

She smiles at me dozing away
as I guard her from midnight's ghosts
When the jars are packed, the prayer said
she kisses my head and tucks me in bed

I curl up again into her cozy womb
proud as man as me ought to be
For when the curtains fell this one night
she was the damsel and I, the knight

And in my dreams, she whispers my name
closes my eyes and takes me by hand
And as we share the heavenly glow
I open my eyes and am born again

Years have passed, distances crept
age drawn lines in each other's hands
But when the curtains faill one last time
I still guard her from midnight's ghosts

P.s: My attempt at 'Poetry' as part of the first poetry session.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not sure if there are any rules to poetry and I am not the best person to critique your work. All the same there were certain things that came to my notice:
1. Even if it is a continuation of a thought/sentence from the previous line, normally poetry has caps on each new line.
2. The rhyme sequence is not consistent. I am not sure how much modern poetry adheres to this.
3. There is a medley of a lot of analogies, metaphors and thoughts: The pickle jar, ghosts of the midnight, knight and rebirth. It would be nice to have an insight into the thought process.

4:44 AM

 

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